Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
