My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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