Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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