Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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