alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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