I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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