I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
