this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
