careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
