meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
