You're my little dorito
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
