Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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