forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
