someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
