Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
