Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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