bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
