I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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