if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you will always have a special place in my vag
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
