its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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