do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
