The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
