I just made out with a guy for $7.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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