Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
