I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
