He asked to "fluff my boner.."
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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