Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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