Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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