Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
