im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
