my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
