Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
