i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
