Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
