Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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