Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
