Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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