A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
