I have demons in me.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
