I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just want nice things and good sex
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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