my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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