How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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