My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I think my moral compass just broke
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