i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
