Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
