Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
...so i touched it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
