im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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