There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
