I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
