He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
