Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Too much gin, very little bucket
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
