U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
