They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
