THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
