Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
