the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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