$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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