Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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