i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
