ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
