I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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