im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize