Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You're a waste of cheezeits
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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