we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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